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The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance, and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning. – Oprah Winfrey
The beginning of the summer 2019 I made a post stating I was on a “Journey to Freedom”. Truth be told when I made that statement I had no idea what type of decree and declaration I created. I wasn’t sure what the journey would entail nor what it would cost me. See, when we speak things into existence we have to pay attention to exactly what we are declaring. Journey to freedom for me allowed me to speak from a place of deliverance. I was tired of feeling bound and stagnant . No matter how much I planned, accomplished, prepared, or enrolled ( some people use education as a sign of value) , I always felt like apart of me was missing . The word freedom means to possess the power or right to act , speak , or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. To be free means to be without confinement or imprisonment. I was bound to fears, old habits, procrastination, false identities, comparison , the list could go on . I knew I was tired of being under the control of words and customs that did not reflect my true identity nor aide in the growth to becoming the woman I was destined to be.
I made up in my mind I would begin this journey with a willing and open heart towards change. I was aware it would not be easy and I knew I had a lot of self evaluations and self healing to do in order for this trip to not be in vain.
The Price of Freedom
Let’s be real, I was not aware of the value of freedom. I had made up in my lil ole mind I would work out more and increase my prayer time. I had met most of my goals, more like accomplished my list of to-do’s on my vision board and I decided I would take more risks , love more, see my friends often, give my all in relationships and live in the moment . You know how we are when we’re pumping our heads up and feeling ourselves we quickly yell “YOLO” Yup, I was bamboozled into the YOLO conspiracy. How quickly was I reminded there was no trend one could follow, a gym membership to obtain, or a dollar I possess that could purchase the sense of freedom I was desperately seeking. I had to give up more than a few routines or tendencies.
How quickly was I reminded there was no trend one could follow, a gym membership to obtain, or a dollar I possessed that could purchase the sense of freedom I was desperately seeking. -Ciara Deal
Quick Shot of my journey
July I said goodbye to a long friendship and relationship . Oh, we already know how hard it is to let go of things we care about and are attached to. Who likes to be moved out of their comfort zone? who wants to give up on a love they built and put time into ? How many of us want to make sense of the crazy unforgivable, unfair , betraying moments we endured just because we LOVED someone? Truth be told we knew the truth and tried so hard to hide from this nightmare actually reflecting our reality? YUP – Adios
I also cut my hair . I wanted my own identity and sense of style . I always desired to cut my hair but I never wore my hair and I was always to afraid it would look bad or I would miss the long hair . However, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
August- I had to embrace those hidden treasures inside of me. What makes Ciara so unique and authentic? I found myself trusting in my abilities, embracing my mistakes , and living all of me wholly, even the parts I wasn’t to happy about internally and outward. I lived in the shadow of comparison and lies far to long . I HAD TO BELIEVE I WAS ENOUGH.
September– I begin to embrace all of me and take the time to love me and find Ciara again. I struggled with self identify and esteem long enough you’d think I wouldn’t have lost myself or accepted so many things that devalued my worth. Not only did I have to love me and learn to dream again, but I could see God working through me and around me . I literally had to lean on him for everything. Whether it was figuring out how to pay a bill or finding the strength to heal or having the desire to pray, the bottom line was I was on a journey only he could steer and I needed him .
I traveled to Kenya with a beautiful team of STRANGERS lol I do not know one person on my team but what I do know is this was predestined and I am totally surrendering to this experience. Can you believe I have to lead a session on leadership and identity to a group of young ladies in Kenya, how ironic. Here I am healing and embracing all of me and I have to lead a session on the very thing I was struggling with. Seems like this mission would give me the very thing I was headed to share with the young ladies.
I paid more than I bargained to without even realizing I was withdrawing from a negative account. When we hold on to things and try to fix things or take matters in our own hands we allow it to withdraw from our strength, spirituality, emotions, relationships, values etc, and before you know it we have negative balance ; More withdrawals then deposits and I needed to alter the deficiencies in my life quickly.
I can honestly say I am on the right path and I feel FREE . I don’t feel bound, shameful, or afraid. Although I intended on my ” Journey” being 3 months or within a certain time frame I am still traveling. I have to be honest and tell you I don’t know the final destination but I am not afraid and I realized I obtain the key to happiness . WE, hold the key to unlocking our dreams, set backs , and joy. We have to make up in our minds enough is enough , but as I stated pay attention to what you decree and declare because this journey only has one destination and that is freedom. I ask you to join me and use that key unlock the door to what’s next for you.
Exercise - Reflect on people, places, or things that maybe binding you - Journal and discover practical ways you can make small steps towards removing those hindrances and start towards you Journey to freedom.